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Obama confirms he can't end sequester via 'Jedi mind-meld'

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By Doug Powers  •  March 1, 2013 01:36 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

After a brief meeting with Republicans this morning concerning the sequester, President Obama reminded reporters of three things: 1) He’s not a dictator; 2) The cuts are the fault of congressional Republicans; and 3) He shouldn’t have to use his mad Jedi mind-meld skills to get his way:

Asked Friday by CNN Chief White House Correspondent Jessica Yellin why he can’t simply lock congressional leaders in a room until they reach a deficit-reduction agreement, President Obama said he can’t “force Congress to do the right thing.”

“Jessica, I am not a dictator, I’m the president,” he said while speaking to reporters in the White House Press Briefing Room. “Ultimately, if Mitch McConnell or John Boehner say we need to go to catch a plane, I can’t have Secret Service block the doorway.”

“I know that this has been some of the conventional wisdom that’s been floating around Washington, and that somehow — even though most people agree that I’m being reasonable, that most people agree I’m presenting a fair deal — the fact that they don’t take it means that somehow I should do a Jedi mind-meld with these folks and convince them to do what’s right,” he added.

Obama didn’t mention that the reason he can’t fix this with Jedi tricks is that the power of The Force has been cut by a third due to the sequester — that and Biden had all the lightsabers converted into shotguns.

Obama also didn’t mention that he could have stopped the sequester by vetoing the bill that contained it and not threatening to veto any stopgap alternatives to the sequester.

Video of the Jedi mind-meld quote is below (update: it’s been noted that “Jedi mind-meld” is a mixed metaphor cross between Star Wars and Star Trek). I think he started to realize it was going to sound silly as soon as he heard “Jedi” come out of his mouth but had breached the fail-safe point and had to go through with it. TOTUS probably wouldn’t have done this to him:

Somewhere in the world, George Lucas is questioning his entire belief system.

Trivia: Lucas originally cast Obama as Han Solo but Obama gave it up to pursue a political career. Here’s an exclusive look at that screen test:

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“I love you.”

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“I know.”

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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