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School offers counseling for traumatized students who saw classmate chew breakfast pastry into shape of gun

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By Doug Powers  •  March 5, 2013 05:15 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

A Baltimore area elementary school recently suspended a seven year old boy for chewing a breakfast pastry into a shape resembling a gun. There also seems to be some dispute over whether the boy said “bang bang” after doing so (some also claim there might have been a second Pop-Tarter on the grassy knoll).

For any students who were traumatized by the frightening toaster strudel ordeal, counseling is available:

The school sent home a letter to parents saying, “During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one was harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.”

Parents should talk to their children if they’re troubled by the incident, the school said, and the school counselor will be available for any student who needs to talk.

It’s been pointed out that because the Pop Tart had a filling, the pastry weapon was likely considered to be loaded — a much more egregious zero-tolerance violation indeed — hence the suspension.

The letter sent to the parents of students is here. The educators will now undoubtedly insist that any Pop Tarts consumed on school property undergo a mandatory 24-hour cooling off period after coming out of the toaster.

Related: Hello Kitty Bubble Gunfight at the PC Corral

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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