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Kim Jong Un threatens to launch missiles at Hawaii, DC, LA and… Austin, Texas?

By Doug Powers  •  March 29, 2013 06:20 PM

**Written by Doug Powers

Why Austin? Theories abound. I like this one in particular.

Somebody has renewed confidence after seeing the Red Dawn remake:

The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an “emergency meeting” early on Friday morning. They show Kim signing the order for North Korea’s strategic rocket forces to be on standby to fire at US targets, the paper said, with large-scale maps and diagrams in the background.

The images show a chart marked “US mainland strike plan” and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and what they claim is Austin, Texas.

So, with the goal of annihilating various U.S. cities having been made clear, all Kim needs to do in order to get his missiles within striking distance of Austin is figure out how to launch them from San Antonio:

Despite the increasingly belligerent rhetoric and new images emerging from the North Korean regime, analysts believe its missiles are not capable of striking targets as far away as the US mainland and are not, as yet, capable of delivering a nuclear payload.

The images of Kim surrounded by his officers and diagrams of targets in the US are designed for a domestic consumption and to demonstrate the young leader’s mastery of military affairs, experts believe.

By the time this part of the story was reported, the entire sociology department at UT Austin had already surrendered.

Here’s a photo from North Korea featuring the name of the operation at the top of the map showing the western U.S.:


The code name of the missile attack plan was a tough one for experts to crack: “Plan to hit the U.S. mainland.” Kim was reportedly upset that “The Alan Parsons Project” had already been used.

Here’s a photo NK released showing Kim Jong Un checking out his army’s latest technology, which looks to be a laptop version of the ENIAC:


Feel free to add a caption to kick off the weekend.

Update: North Korea has declared a “state of war” against South Korea and has launched an initial salvo of strongly worded letters:

North Korea said on Saturday it was entering a “state of war” with South Korea in a continuing escalation of tough rhetoric against Seoul and Washington after coming under international sanctions for its nuclear test.

“From this time on, the North-South relations will be entering the state of war and all issues raised between the North and the South will be handled accordingly,” a statement carried by the North’s official KCNA news agency said.

**Written by Doug Powers

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