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The 5 most Clinton moments from Hillary’s campaign re-launch

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By Doug Powers  •  June 14, 2015 10:03 AM

**Written by Doug Powers

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It’s mourning in America

Did you see Hillary Clinton’s latest campaign launch yesterday? If not, good for you!

Clinton spoke for about 45 minutes, reading a speech where it was obvious that Every. Word. Had. Been. Focus. Grouped. Exhaustively. Thoroughly. Yes, Hillary still needs to refer to notes to repeat tired leftist rhetoric she’s been talking about most of her life (not counting the time she dabbled in Goldwater).

The speech was so jam-packed with hypocrisy and shamelessness that the Feds had to make the airspace above Roosevelt Island a no-fly zone so planes wouldn’t lose lift in the vacuum created by the absence of self-awareness.

Here are some of the most Clinton-esque moments from Hillary’s campaign re-re-re-launch. If you have additional lowlights I might have missed feel free to add them in the comments. “Shared prosperity” was the theme, as the arrow on the stage that was Hillary’s logo pointed toward Manhattan’s financial district as if the set designer was in on the joke.

1:

Hillary came out swinging against Wall Street greed, specifically evil hedge fund managers:

Hillary Clinton came out strong against Wall Street and hedge fund managers in a speech Saturday that launched her presidential campaign.

“Prosperity can’t be just for CEOs and hedge fund managers. Democracy can’t be just for billionaires and corporations,” Clinton said, speaking to a crowd of supporters at Roosevelt Island in New York City.

Clinton also called for Wall Street to pay more taxes and compared hedge fund managers to kindergarten teachers in a particularly brutal line:

While many of you are working multiple jobs to make ends meet, you see the top-25 hedge fund managers making more than all of America’s kindergarten teachers combined. And, often paying a lower tax rate.

So, you have to wonder: “When does my hard work pay off? When does my family get ahead?” “When?”

I say now.

Chelsea Clinton and her hedge fund manager husband applauded wildly.

2:

There was the predictable call for a minimum wage increase:

We can build an economy where hard work is rewarded.

Team Hillary workers who are either unpaid or aren’t paid enough to afford rent in the city their boss chose to house her headquarters cheered this “living wage” rhetoric from their cots in garages of people who agreed to take them in.

3:

This is the theme of the speech where Hillary mocked Republicans for focusing on the past instead of the future:

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While she was at Roosevelt Park ripping off FDR, channeling Eleanor and talking about the awesome days when her husband was president Hillary blasted the GOP candidates for looking to “yesterday.”

The Rubio campaign responded nicely to that one:

4:

The fact that there was no lightning strike after Hillary criticized those who get away with bending the rules yet again challenged my faith in a benevolent, truth-enforcing God:

She jeeringly referred to what she called the false promise of Republicans that “if we let those at the top pay lower taxes and bend the rules, their success would trickle down to everyone else.”

Instead of laughing hysterically, the few thousand in attendance clapped in agreement, highlighting the depth and breadth of the psychosis.

5:

What kind of campaign re-re-relaunch speech would it have been without some “climate change” fear mongering? There’s good money in it, which means there’s chum in the water for the Clintons:

Ask many of these candidates about climate change, one of the defining threats of our time, and they’ll say: “I’m not a scientist.” Well, then, why don’t they start listening to those who are?

Let Dr. Al Gore solve the “crisis”!

Speaking of “climate change”

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And…

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You know you’re a liberal if the thing that concerns you the most about that last headline is the emissions from the private jet.

Honorable mention:

CNN randomly chose one of several publicized “Hillary watch parties” in Iowa and found it to be more sparsely attended than a Clinton Foundation Ethic’s Committee meeting:

The crowd “overflow” area on Roosevelt Island was bustling as well:

Unreliable sources tell me organizers were told by “somebody” to set up a separate area for Bill’s girlfriends before Hillary shut down the idea.

We’ll see what gems Hillary’s next “campaign launch” has to offer.

Update:

I just remembered this one:

As your President, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep Americans safe.
[…]
I wish she could have seen the America we’re going to build together.

An America, where if you do your part, you reap the rewards.

Where we don’t leave anyone out, or anyone behind.

It’s as if somebody told the speechwriter to “squeeze in just one more ‘spit-take’ near the end.”

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

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Categories: 2016 Campaign, Corruption, Hillary Clinton