**Written by Doug Powers
Is it Sunday already? Here’s our semi-traditional open thread for discussion of issues of the day, brought to you today by Bubba Burger, Zippo lighters and Happyscrapper.
A few things to get warmed up…
Hillary Clinton’s campaign couldn’t wait to start celebrating May Day. On your Marx, get set, go!
Hillary’s so into the movement that she might even wear a Daniel De Leon t-shirt during her next $250k speech to Goldman Sachs.
Has Hillary come out in favor of “me-ternity” leave yet?
At last night’s White House Correspondents Dinner, Obama took a very light shot at Hillary:
Later, Obama joked about Bernie Sanders’s popularity with young voters, comparing Clinton to an older relative who tries to join Facebook.
“I’ve said I admire Hillary’s toughness, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience. You’ve gotta admit it though: Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative who just signed up for Facebook,” Obama said. “‘Dear America, did you get my poke? Is it appearing on your wall? I’m not sure I’m using this right. Love, Aunt Hillary.'”
More accurately put: Hillary’s like your older relative, who’s under FBI investigation, trying to get her longtime personal aide to help her delete emails from a homebrew server.
Last week, the White House generously took it upon themselves to mentor the next generation of “reporters”:
“Now repeat after me, ‘Mmm Mmm Mmm.'”
If only Obama and the Democrats would have ticked off John Boehner as much as Ted Cruz has in these past few years:
Former House Speaker John A. Boehner described Senator Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh” during a forum at Stanford University on Wednesday and said that he would not vote for the Texas Republican if he is the party’s presidential nominee.
“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends,” Mr. Boehner told David Kennedy, an emeritus history professor, at the event. “I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
In related “you can’t make this up” news, Boehner comparing Ted Cruz to Lucifer has offended… satanists:
After former House Speaker John Boehner on Wednesday called the current Republican presidential candidate “Lucifer in the flesh,” saying he found it difficult to work with him, staunch Satanists decried the comparison.
“Having a conservative Christian likened to Lucifer — one who opposes equal rights for same sex couples and promotes the ability to deny services to any with different values — we Satanists see as besmirching the positive, heroic aspects of that character as portrayed by Milton in his epic ‘Paradise Lost,'” Magus Peter Howard Gilmore, the high priest of The Church of Satan, said in a statement.
Sometimes do you wish this entire year were a giant Etch-a-Sketch that we could shake and start over?
Stay classy, leftist protesters:
During a commencement speech at the University of Michigan yesterday, Michael Bloomberg denounced the idea of campus “safe spaces.” He then dove underneath the lectern after spotting somebody drinking a Big Gulp.
Have a good Sunday all!
**Written by Doug Powers
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Because they care: Will Ferrell to assist Hillary’s push for Alzheimer’s awareness with planned Reagan mockumentary; Updated
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